But fathers bear a unique responsibility. Fathers are given a unique responsibility in the marriage to lead, protect and provide for a wife, those three things. And the children are watching this, and they know that a special role is given to dad.
And when it comes to discipline of the children, the way that this uniqueness comes out is that dad assumes the buckstopping, initiative-taking role. A child ought not to see that mom is always the initiator of discipline or devotions or of special family activities. That's going to breed into a child a sense that their dad doesn't get it, or is weak, or is not the spiritual leader that he ought to be. Dad, while not doing all the devotions or discipline or leading, is supposed to be the initiator and buckstopper.
So I sometimes say to couples, "Who says 'let's' more often in your family? Let's get to church on time. Let's eat out today. Let's talk about the finances in this marriage." And if the wife is always having to say, "Let's have devotions, let's discipline the children better, let's go to worship," and the dad is always responding or is always recalcitrant, then something is amiss there.
A wife loves to have a husband, not who domineers or does everything, but who takes creative initiative. And if there is crisis with the kids or with the finances, he says, "Let's talk." And then he wants to hear what she says. Now she may have greater wisdom on the issue than he does, but he takes the initiative to get it done.
So there is a unique role for fathers, and yet the teamwork is essential.